


Made in Heaven

by writeyourownlifestory



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF
Genre: Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Religion, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, praying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-07 05:37:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18866821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writeyourownlifestory/pseuds/writeyourownlifestory
Summary: Pastor Joseph Mazzello always believed that life would be good and live would be great if he devoted himself to one man. What was a simple follower of God supposed to do when another man stepped into the light?





	1. The Father

 

Religion had always been a staple in Joseph’s life. 

 

Always. 

 

Even in the darkest of his days, there had always been this guiding light to remind him that he was never truly alone. When all else failed, he always had to trust and believe that God was on his side, even if the man was making things harder for him. 

 

After all, Joe stood by the belief that God would never give you more than you could handle and that the reason behind why bad things happen to good people was because the Lord was making you stronger. Pushing your limits and showing you all that you are capable of. 

 

Some people were stronger than others and could fend off temptation without the bat of an eye, while others were in need of some guidance. Thats where Joe came in. 

 

He had been a Preacher for some time now, using the things he had learned in his own life and the good word of the Lord to help all those in need. He knew what it was like to be searching for answers at the bottom of the bottle. He knew what it felt like to be completely alone, with no one there to stand beside you. 

 

The difference was, Joe knew better now. He knew that he would never truly be alone, that God would always be by his side, protecting him, caring for him, loving him as he guided the way. All Joe had to do was follow and that was what he taught at his sermons. Let go of the temptation, of the need for that liquid nirvana, of that pointy needle of pleasure. Let go of material things that would make you feel like you belong and instead, follow in the glorious light of God and all will work out in the end. 

 

He knew not many believed in his words and that sometimes he felt like he was preaching to a brick wall, but in the end, he did well. In the end, he helped people and that was all he ever wanted. Just to be the guiding hand that led someone into the proper way to live their lives. 

 

A life completely devoted to one man. 

 

His congregation was small but powerful. They sang the sweet songs of the Lord and praised his name to the high heavens. He went to schools and spoke out about things like drug addiction and alcohol abuse. Some of his tactics were a bit unorthodox, but really, if you aren’t going to take rehabs seriously, perhaps having an antsy man scream in your face and tell you all about what life is like living on the streets, selling yourself for a dime bag would be enough to wake the addicts up. 

 

His methods worked, to some extent. He had plenty of people come to him and say that they saw the light thanks to him. While he wasn’t going to turn into some big-time TV evangelists, he and his partner had taken it upon themselves go travel a bit to be able to say their peace and spread the word of the Lord. 

 

He had taken the point to mentor the youth all along Upstate New York. They didn’t want to go far, still trying to build their own little community, their own congregation. Rami, his partner, always reached for the sky, wanting to be bigger and better, but it was Joe who did all the work. He did the preaching, the speech writing, the mentoring. Joe wanted to start off small, wanted to make a real impact before they decided to go all Hollywood and try to branch out to other cities. 

 

They took the jobs that came and welcomed everyone with open arms. Joe had been involved with religion his entire life, knowing the Bible back and forth, inside and out. Some preferred to pick apart the good Book and take out the parts they didn’t like and peach about those they did. Joe, on the other hand, believed that humans were placed on this earth to love all Gods creatures, no matter their faults, no matter their differences. 

 

Joe wasn’t here to fix people. Wasn’t here to change anybody on the inside, but rather focus on the out. Teach them to live their lives in the name of the Lord, to let go of temptation and break away from the darkness of drugs and alcohol.

 

To break away from the grasp of the devil and dive head first into the arms of God! 

 

He was proud of his work, though he didn’t speak of it often. After all, having too much pride could get a man in trouble. Joe didn’t like to toot his own horn, but sometimes it was hard to deny that he was good at his job.

 

He had people come to him, asking for his help, his guidance. He would never deny a soul and he would help as many as he could. His latest request came from an older woman by the name of Ms. Jones. She came all the way from England. Joe didn’t know much about the woman, aside from she lived alone in the name of the Lord. She came every Sunday, to every sermon,with hands held high up to heavens, ready to praise His name and share her worldly wisdom. 

 

She came to Joe in desperation, seeking answers on what to do with her young nephew. It seemed the boy had gotten in trouble back home and would be coming to stay with her for a while so he could clean himself up. 

 

Joe had seen it many times before. A gentle youth being tempted by the darkness, turned into a heathen thanks to life out on the streets. It was heartbreaking, really and Joe refused to allow Ms. Jones to lose her family to the ways of Satan. 

 

Joe promised the woman that if she brought the boy here that he would do everything he could to turn his life around and show him the light. He would stop at nothing to make sure the young boy kicked his addiction in the bud and was praising His name with the rest of the congregation. 

 

It was the following Sunday when the woman returned, nephew by her side. Joe didn’t know what to expect, but it certainly wasn’t this. Perhaps a young teen looking down on his luck. A skinny kid who got caught up in the wrong crowd and was too shy to break away from it. 

 

A child. He thought this nephew of hers would be a child. How could he not when Ms. Jones spoke about him being a ‘good lad’ and ‘innocent boy’ whenever she mentioned him? 

 

Instead, this nephew of hers was a man. A young man, but a man nonetheless.

 

The most beautiful man Joe had ever seen. 

 

The moment he walked in, Joe felt as though an angel in the flesh had entered his prayer room. Hair was yellow as the sun, eyes as green as the sea. Pointy cheekbones, sharp jaw, and lips that held the most delicious pout. 

 

And it was in that moment that Pastor Joe realized bit off more than he could chew.

 

He should have never agreed to help this woman, to help this man because if he did, then who would repay the kindness and help Joe in return? Help him fight off the obvious temptation that was dangling out in front of him. 

 

Joe had fought of temptation his whole life, giving in when he was a late teen when there was nobody else to turn to. He held onto alcohol like it was his one and only friend. He would watch the sins of others and get off on the idea of having someone moan out his name, get off on the idea of having someone worship _him_. 

 

Looking back, he knew how terrible it had been. How selfish it had been. He turned his back on the light that the Lord offered and accepted the darkness for the briefest of moments. Joe spent the remaining years making up for it, devoting his life to Religion and helping those in need to clean up their lives so they could the very same. 

 

How was he supposed to carry on his mission and keep focused when the human embodiment of pure temptation was standing right in front of him? 

 

Joe held on tight, standing tall as he introduced himself. He had a title, a belief system, and standards and he wouldn’t allow himself to be wavered by any mere mortal. 

 

Ben was . . . a gracious guest. It was easy to see the man didn’t believe in everything Joe and his aunt were pushing, but he also had nowhere else to turn. This was his last chance at doing good, having had his own parents turn their back on him. 

 

They sent him out of his home country, telling him to come back clean or not come back at all. It was a heartbreaking tale, that much was true and Joe’s heart would literally be breaking for the man if it wasn’t beating a mile a minute. 

 

Joe had heard the sweetest sounds in all the world, one of them being the very word of God, but nothing would prepare him for the delicious sound of Ben. Voice low and accent deep. Joe had never dabbled in things such as AMSR but if Ben ever decided to make a podcast, Joe would be a religious listener (no pun intended). 

 

Joe had a choice to make. He could push the young man away, insist that he could not help him to keep the temptation away. Or he could bite the bullet and fight the good fight in order to help Ben see the light. 

 

Joe wouldn’t be where he was if he was a quitter. He wouldn’t be who he was if he didn’t fight the good fight. So he chose the latter, deciding late one night while he fought tooth and nail not to rub one out at the very image of Ben that he held so tightly in his mind. 

 

He decided he would help Ben beat his addiction, help him return home to England so he could be far, far away from him. Truly, it was the best for each of them. Ben would have his freedom, he would have his life back and when he was gone, the temptation would be gone as well. Joe would have his life back, he would have his freedom back too. 

 

Everybody was a winner in the end. 

 

Problem was, Ben wasn’t giving up without a fight. 

 

He had been a pill popper back in London. Anything that could make him feel good, make him feel like he was walking on air. He tried his best to beat it there, but he couldn’t stop. He craved those feelings, the feeling of not feeling. He longed for it the same way Joe had once longed for that delicious liquid courage that stopped the pain and loneliness from taking over.

 

They had spoken one on one, with Joe giving a bit of insight to his own life. His parents were religious — born again's who didn’t believe in modern medicine. When his father got ill, they didn’t do a damn thing about it. Joe had to watch his father die, had to watch his father suffer without even getting a chance to help him. It was horrible. That, plus the fact that he was just born outcast forced Joe into the corner with no one by his side. No one to hold and kiss him, to tell him that everything would be all right.

 

All he had was God and in the end, that was enough. Joe knew for some, it never would be and that was fine. So long as you praise His name, you were living a good life. If you lived in the name of the Lord, then you were living the life you were meant to be living. A good, decent life. And that was all he wanted for those in his congregation. Joe didn’t want followers of his own. He didn’t want to be a self-righteous megaphone of a man. He wanted to be the mouthpiece of the Lord, saying his words, singing his prayers, and making the world a little bit better, piece by piece. 

 

It worked a little bit, but in the end, it came down to the withdrawals. Ben put up a good fight, enough to make his poor aunt fearful that he would run away and take whatever he could get in order to reach his high. 

 

Joe was a determined man and he had the power of God in his side. 

 

He went to Ms. Jones’ home, finding Ben going through the usual symptoms of withdrawals. He was in pain, he was feeling ill, he looked as pale as a ghost. It was clear to see the man was suffering and Joe stood back with hands that ached to hold the man close and protect him from all the evils of the world. 

 

This wasn’t going that was just going to go away. It took time. And if Joe knew anything, it was that time healed all wounds. So he stayed with him. It wasn’t easy and there was a time when Joe flat out threatened to tie Ben to the bed to keep him from retreating out the door. There had been a moment or two between them, with his hand on Ben’s shoulder or the polite shake of hands, but they had never been more physical than that. 

 

It was a dangerous game he was playing, but Joe knew better than anyone that someones you had to walk through the ring of fire in order to make it through the other side. 

 

As Ben began to shake violently, the heavy tears streaming down his face he went through the dark desire to find his high, Joe was there to hold on tight. With that gorgeous blond rocking slowly, his back against Joe’s chest as the redhead whispered sweet things to him, the gentle promise of tomorrow, they stayed awake for as long as they could. Until the darkness was finally gone from the man and Ben was able to sleep easy. 

 

It was after that Joe decided that he had finally done some really good. That Ben was living proof that if you believe hard enough and pray loud enough, that the Lord will answer your prayers. When the withdrawal finally ended and the blond was free from the heavy hands of the devil, Joe was sure that Ben would find his way home again. 

 

Except he didn’t. 

 

Ben returned to the following few sermons, sitting beside his aunt as they sang the songs of the Lord and raised their hands high to the heavens. One afternoon, after a long session that left Joe feeling like he was walking on air, Ben approached. 

 

“I never fully got to thank you for what you did for me,” Ben mentioned once they were alone, those green eyes wide and bright. 

 

“You don’t have to thank me, Benjamin. It was the Lord's work. All I did was carry on his message.” Joe told him carefully. “I hope you remember all this when you return to England.” 

 

Ben stepped forward then, breaking into Joe’s personal space. “Oh, I’m not leaving.” He confessed eagerly. 

 

Joe paused, blinking wildly as his head cocked ever so slightly to the side. “I’m sorry?” 

 

“I told my aunt I can’t go back to London. After what happened I realized there is nothing left for me there.” 

 

Oh. Oh _no_. This was not apart of the plan. “Ben…Benjamin. Your whole life is there. Your family. Your friends.” 

 

“You mean the parents that abandoned me and the friends that are basically my suppliers? I won’t survive there, Paster Joseph.” Ben stepped forward again. Joe didn’t even know how much space was left between them as he could feel the other mans body heat pressed against his own. “I don’t want to live in the darkness anymore. I want to be in the light, under your guidance.” 

 

Joe's head remained cocked and his lips pushed out ever so slightly as his mind tried to catch up with what Ben was saying. “You what?” 

 

“I may not be the biggest follower, but after going through what I did, I see now that there is a God and he sent me to you and if I went back to London, then I would be losing out on whatever future we may have.” 

 

“Future? Us?” 

 

“I want to be under you, Paster Joseph.” Ben insisted. “I know it will be hard and rough and I am probably in way over my head, but after what you did for me, I would proudly get on my knees for you.” 

 

It was safe to say this definitely did not go the way Joe planned. He had expected to help the young man see the light and then send him on his way. Turning him into a wide-eyed born again wasn’t exactly something Joe anticipated. 

 

Joe could only smile and laugh, watching as Ms. Jones called her nephew away. The very same nephew that wanted to get down on his knees and be underneath Joe until the unseeable future. 

 

Running a hand through his hair, Joe mouthed quietly to himself through clenched teeth. 

 

“Goddammit _._ ” 


	2. The Son

Joe was lost. For the first time in a long time, he was very, very lost. The good book was filled with many passages and sacred advice on how to beat temptation and keep your focus on the light, but nowhere did it tell him how to stop the thoughts from popping into his mind. 

 

He kept himself at bay like he always did, but that meant nothing to him when he was alone with his thoughts. In the dark of the night, he would find himself dreaming — no fantasizing — about the beautiful British boy. No! Not a boy. A man. A young man five years his junior, who applied and received an extended visa, meaning he was there to stay. 

 

For how long, Joe didn’t know, but any longer than a few seconds was absolute torture for the man. Joe just didn’t understand! He was a preacher for crying out loud! He devoted his life to the Lord and this is how the man repays him? By allowing Satan himself to dangle this gorgeous creature in front of him like a steak in front of a starved dog?

 

Having Benjamin around was slowly beginning to ruin Joe. Even the most innocent of acts was enough to haunt his mind. Joe would be in his office after a sermon, just thinking of how the day went. All Ben would have to do was lock their eyes and the man completely forgot what he was speaking of. 

 

Every smile, every laugh, it sent a shiver down his spine. Joe held off for so long; a whole month and a half before he finally broke down, unable to stop himself. It had been a long summers day and the men of the congregation came together to do a bit of good. They cleaned up the churchyard and the nearby park. Normally seeing men sweat through their shirts was never a bother for Joe, but Ben was different. 

 

He walked around in nothing more than khaki shorts and a wife beater, his blond locks sticking to his head as the muscles in his arms glistened with sweat. Joe found himself staring, his mouth hanging wide as he watched the young man walk back and forth, busy at work. Only when his right-hand man Rami captured his attention did Joe finally snap out of the trance Ben had put him under. 

 

Rami, being the ignorant fool he was, didn’t suspect a thing. In fact, he liked having Ben around as it meant a little less work for him to do. Ben still followed Joe around weeks later, looking like a lost puppy who finally got a good owner. He was so eager to please that it was putting a real damper on Joe’s attempt to stay good and true to the vows he had taken.

 

Any time they needed a volunteer, Ben was up and ready. Any time they needed an extra set of hands, Ben was there. He came every Sunday, arriving early and staying late. He wasn’t the most religious man and there were times when Rami had caught him snickering at some of the things that were being discussed, but that didn’t change the fact that the effort was being put in and he was serious about working closely with Joe.

 

It was back home, after that full day of working in the sun that Joe broke down and gave in to his temptation. He hadn’t touched himself in years, remembering all the cruel things the old Nun in his school used to say about boys who jerked themselves off under the eyes of the lord. 

 

Joe was lying back down on his bed, thinking about the way Ben looked under the hot, sticky sun. He thought about watching him get soaked under the spray of the hose the men used to cool themselves down with and then dry off using the towels that had been given. 

 

Joe tried not to feel dirty when he rubbed one out to the image of a dripping wet Ben Hardy, though he found it rather hard when the first thing he saw after the stars behind his eyes simmered down was the face of the crucifix hanging up across his bed. 

 

Joe didn’t want to see Ben was the enemy. He didn’t want to sexual time and turn him into some pathetic object of his affections the way Lord Frollo had done to the gypsy Esmerdela in Huntchback. 

 

Truth was, Ben had a lot to offer the congregation. He was well liked among the people and being a bit younger, he easily drew in the teenage crowd. He was a polite man with a delicious accent who lived with his dear old aunt who always brought the more delicious lemon bars to every single sermon. 

 

He was funny and easy to get along with. Rami found that he quite liked the guy, despite originally using him for his own advantage and Joe liked him too. Which made it all the harder for him to stand so close as he always did. Joe didn’t want to feel dirty, didn’t want to be just like every other religious bastard who was too stuck in the temptation to realize he was doing something horrible. 

 

Joe knew his thoughts were bad and he wasn’t sure how many Hail Mary’s he’d had to save before finally cleansing himself of the dirtiness and sin that manifested in his mind. He vowed to never do it again, to soil himself and his sheets at the mere thought of that delectably hunky man. 

 

The best thing he could do was keep their relationship strictly professional, which was harder and hard as the days went on. Ben was just so damn . . . welcoming! He made Joe laugh and was so easy to talk to. They could go on about nearly everything. Sports, life, music. The conversation was never boring, which was absolutely wonderful except for that blasted smile. 

 

Those rosy cheeks and high cheekbones. Sparkling green eyes that reminded Joe of the sea on a windy day. Joe should pray that the Lord takes his eyes and pray that the Lord takes his ears and pray that the Lord takes his memory, all so he can remove this very man from his life, from his person, from his existence.

 

Joe would get on his knees weekly, before the stained glass windows and the ever-watching eyes of God, he would ask for His forgiveness for the thoughts that lingered in his mind and begged for the Lord to see that he is still pure at heart. That Joe was still devoted to one and only one man and that was the Lord above. 

 

He asked for a sign that this would pass, that everything would be okay and he would not lose himself to temptation, but no sign came. It seemed all hope was a loss, until one day, it wasn’t. 

 

Once a year, Rami and he gathered all those Joe had helped and those who were still fighting the good fight to beat their addiction. They would go up and beyond for this moment, bringing out the big guns to get their point across. 

 

Their prop of choice? A snake. Joe had always been good with animals and he never brought any harm to the creature. He signed the wavers and got the okay from any animal associations in order to have the snake brought to his church. 

 

They had done this three years in a row and it always went off with a hitch. This year, the snake they had previously used was currently nesting, leading Rami to hurry off and get a replacement. Joe held the animal carefully, remembering his small amount of training on how to not get the animal riled up. 

 

He gave his big winded speech about how the venom inside the animal was like the venom that lingered inside the system of the addict. He compared the snake to the one from the Bible, that persuaded Eve to take the apple from the tree and give it to Adam. He was playing up the dramatics and while on any other day, this wouldn’t have mattered, seeing the people take in his words and watch the snake oh so very carefully, he knew he was hitting a nerve for some of them. 

 

“Alcohol and drugs are nothing more than venom to a snake. Too many hits and you’re down for the count. Every needle you plunge into your arm, every bottle you empty out, thats another snap of the tail! Another puncture from the fangs! Again and again, until it’s sucked you dry! The Lord is your anti-venom! God is your solution!” 

 

Joe raised his arms up, the snake still resting in his hands. “The snake would take all you could give and then leave you to die in the dirt, but the Lord is always with you, guiding you every step of the way! Loving you! Protecting you! Being your rock, your shield, you are confident! God is your savior! And no amount of bites could take you from Him!” 

 

The congregation stood and cheered at his words, the loud noise catching the coral snake off guard. He whipped from Joe’s hands, its mouth latching onto Joe’s wrist. In a matter of seconds, Joe was jerking back from the sharp pain, his eyes widening as the snake bite down hard, releasing its venom into his bloodstream. 

 

A loud gasp and cries of fear rang through the room and both Rami and Ben were by his side as Joe collapsed onto the floor. 

 

“You said the fangs were removed,” Joe mentioned, his voice tight and shaky. 

 

“I thought they were! That’s what the guy on Craigslist said!” Rami argued. 

 

The man looked into the crowd, shouting at his girlfriend to call the police. Joe laid back against the ground, his body shaking as he held onto his bleeding wrist. He knew, deep down, he deserved this. He had gone against the word of the Lord and allowed the darkness to take him over. And not Satan himself had arrived in the form of a Craigslist snake, coming to claim him for all damnation. 

 

“Joe!” Ben shouted, trying to keep the man focused. “Joseph, look at me! You’re going to be all right. Just keep breathing.” 

 

There was a rustling above him, but Joe didn’t care. He was dizzy and tired and in lots and lots of pain. And Ben was there. And he figured, if this was his last moment on earth, why not be a little selfish? So he kept his eyes on Ben, on that beautiful creature who walked into his life and turned it completely upside down. He watched him with hazy eyes, watched him go back and forth with Rami about something Joe wasn’t listening to. He just kept on watching until finally, the man did the unthinkable. 

 

Branding a pocket knife, Ben cut into the snake bite, prompting Joe to cry out in anguish. Without a second thought. Ben brought Joe’s wrist to his mouth and he slowly began to suck. The pain was undeniable and practically indescribable, but that didn’t matter. 

 

His hazel eyes were wide and focused, completely captivated by Ben before him. His mouth on his wrist, those hollowed out cheeks. His green eyes practically shimmering as he sucked and sucked, pulling away to spit the venom out onto the ground. He continued to work on him until the sounds of sirens filled the area and Joe finally accepted the darkness that was waiting for him. 

 

Except, there was no hellfire, no beast waiting for him at the end of the tunnel. When Joe woke, he was in the hospital being treated for the wound. Rami was talking to the police, giving him all the information on the guy who sold him the snake, and Ben was by his side, having never left him. 

 

When asked how he knew what to do, Ben explained that he used to go hiking with his buddies before he got into the drugs and learned early on what to do in case of a snake attack. Joe had never been so thankful and so very confused. 

 

It just didn’t make sense. Not to Joe at least. The Lord had the chance to take him, to punish him for the terribly dirty, terribly sinful thoughts that flooded his mind, but he didn’t. He allowed him to live and made it Ben of all people be the reason for him surviving. 

 

This had to mean something, it just had to! Joe knew the Lord worked in mysterious ways, but this is more than just mysterious. This is downright confusing. And while Joe lived in the light long enough to know that sometimes there are no answers, that sometimes things just are the way they are, he refused to accept that in this case. 

 

After being released from the hospital, Joe spent a few days on his own, contemplating his second chance at life. He knew he couldn’t continue living the way he did, living in quiet sin. It just wasn’t meant to be. The Lord brought him back for a reason. He sent him Ben Hardy for a reason. And he wasn’t going to allow that reason to slip through his fingers just so he could have a good old fashioned rub and tug. 

 

When the following Sunday came and Joe made his return, he was welcomed back with opened arms. Apparently, the snake-biting turned out to be a bit of a scared straight situation and now the congregation nearly doubled with people wanting to turn their lives around. 

 

Didn’t really help Rami’s ego, who took his small (very big and very dangerous) mistake and cast it aside as just a little mishap that turned into something wonderful. Joe made a mental note to pray for him, though he wasn’t sure if that would be enough at this point. 

 

The sermon went well. Better than well. Joe was walking on air, had a pip in his step. He was a man with a second chanced that was what he preached. Second chances of living the life you were meant to live in the eyes of God. It was never too late to follow in His footsteps and make your life something good and something gracious. 

 

The roar of applause was enough to let Joe know that he wasn’t just rambling on like a fool. People listen to him, they took his words into consideration and showed him that this was exactly what he was meant to be doing. This was why God had allowed him to live. To show others how good the world could be when you live for the Lord. 

 

When the session was over and everyone was making their way out, Joe went into his office, preparing to go through the week's donations and see what they had planned for the upcoming month. He wanted to keep the passion rolling and that meant adding a few new events to the calendar. He was sitting at his desk, scribbling in his notebook when the knock on the door caught his attention. 

 

He wasn’t surprised when Ben was the one who entered and didn’t ignore the way his throat tightened as the blond closed the door behind him. “I wanted to see how you were recovering,” Ben mentioned to him. 

 

Joe had played it off as nothing more than a scratch while giving his sermon, but they both knew different. Ben had to be treated for any possibility of ingesting the venom. The act with the snake could have caused great harm to each man and it wasn’t something they could just ignore. 

 

“The wounds will heal in time,” Joe mentioned, lifting his wrist to show off his bandaged wrist. He stood from his desk, walking around it ever so carefully. He stopped, going to lean back against it, hoping to look casual as he crossed his arms over his chest. “I never got the chance to thank you.” 

 

Ben shook his head, once again stepping closer to Joe, breaking into his personal space. The redhead wondered if this man had ever even learned what personal space was. Joe had caught Ben while he mingled with others in the congregation and never had he stood so close to them as he did with him. It wasn’t something that Joe allowed himself to think about. Another thought he had banished in a weak attempt to stay strong. 

 

“You don’t have to thank me, Paster Joseph.” Ben insisted. “You were there for me when no one else was. I saved your life just as you saved mine.” 

 

“You did save my life, Benjamin. I laid there thinking that it was going to end for me, but you didn’t allow that to happen. I don’t think I could ever repay you for what you’ve done for me.” 

 

“I would be lost without you, Paster Joseph.” 

 

“Joe. Please. We’re behind closed doors. You don’t have to use my title.” 

 

“Joe.” Ben agreed. Joe had always known he had a regular name. A righteous one, yes, but plain nonetheless. And yet hearing it on Ben’s tongue made it sound ever so sweet. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

 

Joe scoffed, waving the blond off. “You would have found the light eventually. After all, I’m nothing more than a messenger for the Man upstairs. Eventually, you would have found your way into His gracious.” 

 

“Not without you.” Ben pressed on. “There is no light without you, Joe. I would have succumbed to the darkness, but you didn’t allow that. When the world turned its back onto me, you were there, holding me, protecting me. Guiding me to the life I wanted to live.”

 

Joe reached out, placing his hand on Ben’s shoulder as he ducked to keep the eye contact. “It’s the life you deserved to live, Benjamin.” 

 

Ben was young and bright and had a full future ahead of him. His aunt welcomed him into her home and Joe welcomed him into the congregation and that was where he would stay. He belonged in this world, Joe realized that now. This beautiful boy from all the way across the pond. 

 

Joe opened his mouth to speak again, to mention the plans he had for the upcoming month. He was hoping to have someone’s opinion on some of the events he was planning. Except no words came from his mouth. 

 

Instead, something was planted tightly onto his mouth and that something was Ben’s own mouth. And Ben’s hands were on his face, holding him close and holding him still. Ben’s eyes were closed, but Joe’s own were wide and aware and the hand on Ben’s shoulder was gripping him tightly. 

 

When Ben pulled away, he was smiling, though it didn’t last long. The shocked expression plastered across Joe’s own face must have been enough to scare the blond into thinking the absolute worst. 

 

“I’m sorry.” He muttered, stepping back, back, until there was space between them away. Space that Joe no longer wanted. “I am . . . I’m sorry.” 

 

Joe didn’t get to say a word. He watched with those wide eyes as the angel that walked this earth ran out of his office, once again leaving him very alone and very confused. 

 

Joe didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do. Joe had never been so lost in his entire life. Even when he was drowning in the bottle of a bottle of something strong, Joe still felt as if he had some ounce of control. With Ben, he left so damn helpless. 

 

He knew attraction wasn’t against the laws of God. Clerical marriages were perfectly fine and it wasn’t as if you could just marry without any attraction. Joe knew he was being a bit crazy, but he couldn’t help himself. He felt as if he was being torn to pieces, pulled in multiple directions with no clue where he was meant to be. 

 

Was he selfish for wanting to be with this man? Some others in his belief system believed that homosexuality to be a sin, but Joe knew better. He knew God loved all his creatures and that you were to treat everyone with the same amount of respect. He knew that there was nothing wrong with laying with a man the way you’d lay with a woman, so long as you treated them as an equal. 

 

Problem was, Ben was not his equal. He was far, far better than him. Ben was everything he ever dreamed of and now Joe had a choice. He could accept the attraction and accept the possibility of sin or he could shut the door on it, put an end to the pressure and stay celibate, just as he had all these years. 

 

Joe knew he was walking on fire and perhaps this was not the way he was meant to go and all the decisions he was making up to this point would lead him into his own damnation, but Joe just didn’t care anymore. 

 

All the signs were pointing to the truth: the Lord had brought Ben here for a reason and the reason was this. They were meant to be. 

 

Arriving at Ms. Jones’ home, Joe bounced on the heels of his shoes. He knew the woman was out, as her schedule was basically the same. Ben had practically left his own schedule for Joe to memorize in case he ever needed him to come running for any which reason. The last time Joe had been to their home was during the darkest day of the blond’s life and he hoped he wasn’t overstepping while coming today. 

 

When Ben answered the door, he looked sullen and afraid. Like he was preparing to have Joe cut him down and tell him to never return to the church. In a small part of Joe’s mind, he did think of it. He thought about pushing the man away and telling him to return all the way to England to stop the thoughts from taking over. 

 

But it wouldn’t matter if he did. Joe knew deep down that even if Ben went back home, the thoughts of him would still remain and while the visual temptation would be gone, the memories would still remain. 

 

Ben tainted Joe in the most sinful of ways and yet the paster could not care less if he tried. Joe wanted to dive head first into the world of endless possibilities. 

 

“I was hoping we could have a moment alone. To talk.” Joe said as he stood by the door. 

 

Ben hesitated and for a moment, Joe thought he’d slam the door in his face. Even if he had been the one to kiss him, that didn’t mean he had to give in and allow him inside. He could push Joe away and forget none of this ever happened. 

 

Maybe that would be for the best. 

 

But instead, he allowed him into the home, leading him off into his bedroom. He took the time to look around, seeing that he had added a bit from the last time he was there. Band posters and a small drum kit in the corner. A cross was nailed to the far wall. It was small, but the meaning behind it still stood. 

 

“I know what you’re going to say,” Ben told him the moment they were behind closed doors. “I’m sorry, Joe. I was caught up in the moment and I allowed my own temptation to get the best of me. I’m a weak man, with or without drugs.”

 

“You’re not weak, Ben,” Joe told him outright. “You’re one of the strongest people I know. You looked the devil in the eye and turned your back on him to walk towards the light. You took a leap of faith and saved me from an unlikable fate. Weakness is not in your description, Benjamin.” 

 

“I broke your trust and forced myself onto you. I spent the night praying and asking for guidance, for answers, for a sign of any kind. All I got was silence. God as shut his door on me and I would do anything to take back my actions.” 

 

“God doesn’t shut doors on people, Ben! Ask and you shall receive! You are a good soul and the Lord knows that.” 

 

Joe moved forward then, breaking into Ben’s own personal space. He lifted his hands, mirroring Ben’s own movements that very day as he held the blond’s face in his hands. Hazel eyes held onto green and Joe did everything he could not pull the man any closer. 

 

“You came into my life for a reason, Benjamin. And I know it is scary and I know it may seem as though these thoughts will be our downfall, but I cannot help to believe that this is His work. He brought us together, Ben. And we would be foolish to ignore it any longer.” 

 

Without any thoughts to keep him at bay, Joe pressed forward, crashing his lips down onto Ben’s. He had kissed three people in his lifetime. Two girls — one when he was in his early teen years and another when he had turned twenty-one and celebrated with a bottle of scotch in a dingy bar — and Ben. Their first kiss had been sudden and scares and this one wasn’t very different. 

 

When Joe pulled away, he feared the worst. Feared that Ben had gotten caught up in the moment, just as he said, and truly didn’t want any part of Joe or this. Those sea-green eyes were bright and blazing and Joe meant to step back to give them some breathing room, but Ben didn’t allow that. 

 

Instead, the space between them became none existent as Ben pulled him back for their third and by far most passionate kiss. It was everything Joe imagined it to be and more. Just like in those movies, in the scenes that Joe would look away from, their wraps were wrapped around one another. Ben’s hands were in his hair, pulling it ever so slightly that mirrored the sharp pull in his groin. Their noses bumped and cheeks were flushed and when they finally did pull away for air, they were together still, unable to break apart fully. 

 

“We were brought together for a reason, Ben,” Joe told him, his words panted and breathless. 

 

“Who are we to question such a mighty God?” The blond answered. 

 

Something flashed between their eyes and the men crashed together again, the two stumblings mindlessly until they fell back onto Ben’s bed behind them. 


	3. The Holy Ghost

Life was good. Life was great. Life was everything Joe could imagine and so much more. When he and Ben first decided to take their leap of faith and fall together, he wasn’t sure where they would land. Perhaps hard on their asses or inside the fiery pits of their own damnation, but the truth was they just kept falling. Further and further down the swirling tunnels of absolute bliss. 

 

Joe couldn’t remember the last time he had been so happy, so carefree.

 

All right, correction, he wasn’t carefree. 

 

In fact, he was very careful. Incredibly so. When they first started out, right in the middle of Ben’s bedroom. When they decided to dive head first, they dove down too quickly. It started off innocent . . . well, not _innocent_. It started off easily enough, kissing one another, again and again, hands roaming and fingers gripping. Ben ended up on top of him and it wasn’t long until Joe had a bit of a . . . misfire situation. 

 

It was rushed and he was apologetic, with Ben looking like a frightened lad rather than a man that just got another man to shoot off into his briefs. Joe decided right then and there that they couldn’t just run headlong into this. They had to take their time, adjust to their newfound relationship. 

 

And that was it was. They weren’t being immature, they weren’t fooling around. For the first time in his life, Joe was in a relationship. Honest to God, he was finally a taken man. And he thanked God for that every single day for every single moment that he spent with this beautiful angel of a man. They spent time with one another inside and outside of the church, getting to know one another on a level other than just simple attraction. 

 

Joe was easily head over heels for the man. Ben had gotten a job at the local library thanks to the connections of his aunt, who was the head librarian in the town. He went back and forth between working there and helping out at the church, lending a hand whenever one was needed. 

 

And Joe always made sure there was something needed. He wasn’t going to pretend like he wanted to be around him, there was no need for that, but he also didn’t want the blond to think that the only reason he wanted him around was due to the romantic feelings they shared. He always made sure there was something for him to do. 

 

Ben was eager to help in any way he could and Joe adored that about him. He adored so, so much about him. He was funny and kind and helpful. He cared about their community and their congregation. He took his second chance at life and ran with it and didn’t look back.

 

How anyone could turn their back on him the way his parents had was beyond Joe. He knew it was terrible and that God put him on this earth to love all Gods creations, but he hated Ben’s parents. Loathed them with every fiber of his being. Instead of trying to get their son help, they shipped him to another country so that his aunt could handle his drug problems. They turned their back on their boy and for that, Joe prayed they would not seek their redemption when the day finally came. 

 

Joe knew it was bad and that he should instead be thankful to those people. After all, if they had not done such a horrible act, then he and Ben would have never met. But no matter how selfish Joe could be, he would never allow himself to be thankful for all the harsh things that had to happen to Ben in order for them to meet. 

 

Joe might be a man in love, but he would rather have stayed in his pathetic little existence and allowed Ben to carry on a normal life than for him to have suffered just so they could be together. 

 

In the end, none of that mattered, however. Everything up to this point happened, whether they liked it or not and Joe always believed that the best thing a person can do is to look forward, not back. Holding onto the past wasn’t going to help the future. Moving on and focusing on your life now was all they could do while walking this earth. 

 

Joe found his own sense of happiness with Ben, simply by doing the little things. They could have lunch together some days, sitting between the bookshelves at the library during Ben’s break. 

 

Joe had cooked them dinner a time or two, inviting Ben over to his home. It was a quaint little place, nothing more than a shack in walking distance of the church. He had a one bedroom place, with a tiny kitchen with an even tinier table. But there was room for Ben and Joe would proudly go out and buy more things if it meant making the man feel more comfortable. 

 

They had yet to go out on any real date, mostly due to how unsure everyone would feel about their relationship. After all, Joe spoke nothing but kindness in his sermons so it wouldn’t be like he completely pulled a one-eighty if he came out being interested in men. Truth was, he was interested in both, they just weren’t interested in him. And that was fine! 

 

Joe always said the only option that mattered was the Lords and they had both come to realize that it was God that brought them together in the first place, so he must have truly been a fan of their union. Still, they were a bit more comfortable being together behind closed doors. 

 

One day Joe would proudly hold the hand of the man that made his heart do little flips, but for now, they were taking it one step at a time. And that was fine! It was wonderful. Joe liked having him over, to talk about Baseball or have dinner. Sometimes he could come to Ben’s place for dinner with his aunt and then sit on the couch to watch a movie. 

 

It was hard sometimes, sitting so close to him when they couldn’t do anything. Joe didn’t need to be on top of the man, but it would be nice every now and then to wrap his arms around him, to sit side by side with a hand on his knee. But they set their boundaries and were respecting them.

 

That didn’t mean they couldn’t have a bit of fun, however. Joe took it upon himself to celebrate their one month anniversary by going a bit out of their comfort zone. He planned a neat little getaway by the lake, knowing no one would be around this time of year, always fearful of the bugs and whatever diseases the stale water offered. 

 

Joe packed them a bit of a picnic, deciding they could afford to be a bit romantic at this stage. He laid out the blanket and their treats, setting up the bug repellent spray and everything else they would need. It was a sweet little date, sitting by the water as they spoke about everything that came to his mind. Joe had gifted Ben with a small notebook that held a collection of his favorite bible verses. They took turned reading them aloud and speaking about what they truly meant to them. 

 

Joe had never imagined having a life like this. One filled with so much love, not only for another mere mortal but for God as well. He was blessed in so many ways that he could practically burst. 

 

And burst he did, though in a slightly less romantic way. After finishing their readings and going back and forth feeding one another strawberries, they got into a bit of light kissing. That swiftly turned into a bit more of deep kissing turned heavy petting as they allowed the month-long hideous to finally come to an end. 

 

Before they knew it, they were rolling around on the picnic blanket, with Joe landing on top of Ben, their lips sliding together before Joe began working his way down Ben’s annoyingly sharp jaw line.

 

He was sucking ever so carefully, creating a mark that the man would have to find a way to hide. That turned Joe on more than he realized and he slowly found himself rutting against the other man; both of them pushing their hips together for much-needed relief. 

 

Joe felt like he was in control; a man taking what he wanted from another man who was so willing to give it to him. And then it happened. Ben arched back against the blanket, letting out a strained moan, a strained name — his name. 

 

He had never heard someone say his name like that. Like it was a word of worship, of prayer. The very thought of someone thinking of him so highly was enough to send a harsh shiver down his spine and before he could think of something to hold off, another misfire took place. 

 

And it was in that moment, Joe wished that the snake had finished the job. He wished that he was dead and buried because no fate was worse than the one he was dealing with in this very moment. As he rolled off of Ben and onto his back, he tried to think of something that would get him out of this mess. He could push himself up and take off for the water. He could drown himself without a single care. 

 

Maybe this was his punishment after all? Maybe God was torturing him for being a greedy bastard by forcing him to finish far too early every time he got an ounce of pleasure out of being with Ben. 

 

“I’m sorry. I am so sorry.” He muttered, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hand. Beside him, Ben was laughing. Actually laughing. The sound was full of cheer and bliss, though he caused the wound to widen for the ginger beside him. “I’m so glad you find this humors!” 

 

“I’m sorry! Truly, I am.” Ben reached out, taking one of Joe’s hands, holding it closely in his own. “I’m honored, actually. Really, this is the best compliment a man could get.” 

 

“If you could let go of me, I’d like to offer myself as a sacrifice,” Joe muttered, but Ben just kept on laughing. 

 

He moved to lay onto his side, nuzzling at Joe’s chin with his nose playfully. “You’re adorable. And lovely. And I know you’re nervous about this but really, it’s not that big of a deal.” 

 

“Says the harlot,” Joe muttered, though there was real cruelty in his words. 

 

They had a long chat about their past experiences. Back when Ben was in London and working the streets for his next hit, he found pleasure in anyone that would take him in. He was a lonely man who just wanted to be taken care of and accepted any love that had been given to him. 

 

Joe, on the other hand, was saving himself up for God and God only. No one gave him the time of day in high school and by the time he had gotten control of his emotions and would be mature enough to even have sex, he was one hundred percent celibate. 

 

Now he was here, with a man so gorgeous he didn’t even truly believe he was really on some days. He wanted so badly to be a man here and be able to give Ben everything he deserves and yet he always found himself failing him. 

 

He tried to talk about it with God, to express his frustrations. Why was it so hard for him? Was he truly so weak, so pathetic? No, no. That was the Devil speaking, Joe knew that. He was just known to all this. A sad little virgin given the chance of a lifetime. They would overcome it, Joe knew that as a fact. 

 

It was just going to take a bit of time. After all, it wasn’t like they could just bypass the rules as they did in the olden days, back before gay marriage was accepted. Then you either remained celibate or just did as you pleased. How could you have sex before marriage if you couldn’t have a marriage? The wise choice would be no sex at all but Joe knew that wasn’t realistic. 

 

Now the rules have changed and people were finally seeing the light. Two men could marry and share a union. It was a joyous thing but that didn’t mean they could just jump right into it. Marrying for the sake of sexual pleasure was the most dishonest thing a person could do. Promising yourself to one person under the eyes of God in order get your rocks off just felt dirty, and deceitful and wrong. Joe was too righteous of a man to allow himself to do such a terrible thing. 

 

That didn’t change the fact that Joe was aching for the man, both physically and mentally. He longed to hold him, in both a romantic and platonic sense. Joe wanted to fill his life with Ben Hardy, in every sense of the word.

 

He had allowed himself a bit of leeway, especially after the second mishap. Just because they couldn’t go all the way that didn’t mean they were cut off from all ways of pleasure. They did their bit of kissing and grinding. Snogging as Ben had called it turned out to be one of Joe’s favorite activity. He could kiss those pouty lips every day of the week and never get bored, never get tired. 

 

Joe had even pushed himself further, looking up other ways to please his boyfriend. After all, if Joe who hasn’t done a single thing with a person outside of Ben was getting nasty, surely Ben, who has had sex multiple times must be dealing with a major bout of blue balls. They didn’t talk about it much, but they seemed to both be on the same page. Still, just because he wasn’t vocal about it didn’t mean he wasn’t unhappy. 

 

Joe wanted to make sure Ben had no regrets and that meant pushing a bit out of his comfort zone. They had started out slow, a little into their second month of dating Ben gave him a hand job. It was a type of nirvana that Joe had only dreamed of; feeling Ben’s lips at his neck and his hand in his cock. 

 

Ben had marked him for the world to see and Joe did everything he could to hide it, even bringing in Rami’s girlfriend to apply a bit of makeup to his throat in order to conceal the marks from the congregation. 

 

After that Joe knew he had to up the ante. He had to show Ben that he was in it to win it and that meant getting on his knees for someone other than the Lord. 

 

It was after an extraordinary long sermon, spent on a hot summer day. The church didn’t have air conditioning so all the older women brought in their old fashioned fans while Rami helped the children make ones out of paper, and the men suffered and sweat through their shirts.

 

Joe kept on delivering his sermon, going back and forth despite the tortuous heat. A dried his forehead with the damp handkerchief and did his best to keep focused. A little heat never hurt anyone and he added a bit into his speech about how some African tribes would do a special dance as they prayed to their God in order for it to rain and stop the drought. 

 

Joe wasn’t crazy enough to actually start dancing right there, but it got a chuckle out of the people and a smile from Ben, who was sitting across the way. Unlike Joe who was stuck in his usual khaki pants, white button up, and wife beater (all of which he had stained with sweat by this point), Ben dressed a bit more casually. 

 

A blue polo with the buttons undone and a pair of clean shorts. The polo was right across his broad chest and the color just seemed to enhance the already bright color of his eyes. He kept his arms crossed promptly, unfolding them only when it was time to clap or cheer. Joe caught himself a couple of times sending a glance his way, checking out the way his muscles looked in the shirt or the way his hips pivoted as he leaned against the far wall, choosing to stand rather than occupy a seat that could go to one of the women or children.

 

When the sermon finally (finally, even the man giving the speech couldn’t leave anything out — Joe was nothing less than professional) ended, Joe made his rounds like he always did. He shook hands and answered questions. Even on the hottest day of the year, his church members were mouthy and curious. 

 

After about ten minutes of mingling, Joe passed the job of communication off to Rami so he could retreat back to his office. It was further back in the church and always seemed a bit cooler than the rest of the building. He entered, already beginning to undo the buttons of his shirt. 

 

“Oh! You’re finished.” Joe looked up to find Ben inside the office, all the way back by the small closet where Joe kept some of his extra button downs. 

 

Currently, his boyfriend was standing shirtless, the polo that Joe adored so much tossed aside on his desk. His blond hair, damp from sweat, stuck to his forehead, making him look both terribly boyish and insanely gorgeous at the same time. 

 

“I hope you don’t mind. Doesn’t really get this hot in London. Didn’t come well prepared.” Ben confessed, gesturing to the closet full of the same white button downs. They were all long sleeve and professional, then kind he used every single week. 

 

Joe wanted to tell him that it was fine. He wanted to tell Ben that he could borrow anything he wanted from him, keep everything that he owned. A man with possessions was a wealthy man but a man that could give his possessions away so easily was a good man. 

 

At this moment Joe didn’t know if he was a good man at this moment. Because automatically his mind was drifting off into the most filthy of places. 

 

Ben was speaking again, going on about how good the service was, how well Joe was under pressure. Joe stepped forward, cutting him off with a kiss hotter than the sun above. “I need you to shut up.” He told him breathlessly. “I have been going out of my mind from the moment you walked into this church and I just need you for two minutes to just...shut up.” 

 

Joe stepped back, looking over to the door. He made his way over in an instant, turning the lock to give them the full amount of privacy. Going back to Ben he kissed him again, his hands fumbling with the bottom and zipper of Ben’s shorts. 

 

“I’m being aggressive. I’m sorry. I’m just really wanna do this,” he muttered, kissing along Ben’s jawline. Ever since he sucked the venom from his wrist; how misty those gorgeous had been during such an intense moment. 

 

“It’s all right, Joe,” Ben told him, sounding a bit more breathlessly than he has before. 

 

“I’ve been thinking of this for so long. I Googled it.” Joe admitted, shoving Ben’s shorts and boxers down as he got to his knees. 

 

He had seen Ben’s cock only once before, in the dark of the night when they decided to be a bit more adventurous. They were alone in Ben’s bedroom, locked away while his dear old aunt was playing cards with her friends. 

 

Ben suggested they jerk one another off as a way to build up stamina, and so Joe didn’t have another pathetic mishap. The blond was kind and didn’t tease him about it after the second time but he was fairly certain if he prematurely ejaculated one more time he would literally yeet himself off a cliff. Not jump — _yeet_. 

 

Kids these days and their fun little lingo. 

 

In the darkness, they laid, wrapped up in one another with their hands wrapped around one another’s cock. Masturbation could be considered sinful but it was a completely different ball game when someone was doing the work for you. They twisted tongues and swallowed moans as they finished in each other’s hands. 

 

Joe wrapped his hand around Ben’s cock now, his fist slowly rolling around the birth of the man. Ben was average length but he was thicker than Joe himself. Joe had wondered if Ben had given a good amount of people a great amount of pleasure with this very cock, but that wasn’t on his mind right now. 

 

Now, he had other things planned, like taking that glorious mouth that was used to speak the very word of God and use it for something far different. 

 

He wasn’t lying when he said he googled it. Alone in his home, using incognito mode on his Chrome he searched how to perform fellatio on a man. He had found a few pictures, even some educational styled videos. He learned a few techniques and even practiced a bit on a banana before Rami burst in on him. 

 

He played it off as just a new way to eat a banana to get the highest amount of protein and he was glad that the man didn’t question it much. 

 

Moving forward now, Joe took the tip of Ben’s cock into his mouth, sucking slowly. He tried his best to remember all that he had studied. Focus on the tip, keep your teeth at bay. Keep it moist. Anywhere his mouth couldn’t go he would use his hand but Joe has a very big mouth and very little gag reflex allowing him to bring Ben all the way in until his nose was pressed against his belly. 

 

The blond hairs that lead down to his cock tickled him slightly but he ignored it, taking it all for what it was worth. He hummed softly, closing his eyes only for a moment before snapping them upwards to lock with the sea green orbs that he loved so very much. 

 

Ben’s expression was everything Joe could have hoped for. His pearly white teeth were biting into those soft pink pouty lips as his hand ran slowly in Joe’s hair. He was brushing his fingers through, brushing the red strands away from his face. He tugged a little when Joe began to speed up his movements and Joe let out a muffled sound that was closer to animalistic than human. 

 

Joe had never been one to take any pleasure in pain but in a small part of. His mind he realized that this might be something he enjoyed and reminded himself to speak to Ben about it later. 

 

He continued to work his way along with Ben’s cock, humming a gentle hymn that he knew by heart to keep the beat up. The sounds that slipped from Ben’s mouth filled Joe’s office in the most delicious of ways. He would be thinking of those sounds every other time he was in his office, trying to work on his sermons and plan events. 

 

He thought about doing other things in this office, with the door locked to keep their privacy. Or maybe held keep it open to have the added possibility of someone catching them. It would be an absolute nightmare but that didn’t change the fact that the very idea made Joe’s own cock twitch against his thigh. 

 

Joe tried to pace himself, to keep the pleasure going for as long as possible for Ben’s sake, but he liked the idea of driving him crazy, of making him finish just as he had all those times before. So he quickened his sucking, hollowing out his cheeks and mouthing his hand to massage the place between his balls, remembering one article that wrote that specific place would bring a bit more pleasure to the man. 

 

It seemed to work because before he knew it, Ben was chanting his name, whispering it as a secret prayer meant only for him. Joe thought about pulling away but decided to stay the last minute, allowing Ben to blow his load in his mouth. 

 

It wasn’t sweet, but it wasn’t sour and it was very, very warm. But Joe didn’t hate it. He swallowed it down the way he would the blood of Christ every communion. Ben fell back against the wall, his chest rising and falling as he came down from his sexually induced high. 

 

Joe had been an addict once in his life and knew how good it could feel to let loose and not have a care in the world. He felt that way when he was with Ben, whether it be holding his hand as they watched a movie or he stayed on his knees, cleaning his mouth after sucking him off. 

 

“Bloody hell, Joseph,” Ben muttered when it was all said and done. 

 

Joe stood, smiling the normal goofy smile that he always had plastered on his face whenever Ben was around him. “Do you approve, Benjamin?” He asked playfully.

 

“Oh yes. I approved one hundred percent, Pastor Joe.” He laughed, pushing off the wall and stepping into Joe’s space the way he did and wrapped a hand around Joe’s neck to pull him in for a kiss. 

 

Neither seemed to taste about the strange taste lingering on their twisting tongues and just continued to kiss and smile like absolute fools until they finally broke away to carry on with what they had been doing prior to their bit of fun

 

Joe grabbed a shirt for them each and they dressed with ease, with Ben going to sit casually n Joe’s desk as the redhead worked on his buttons. 

 

“Did you actually look up how to perform a blowjob?”

 

Joe hummed, smirking to the man. “I wiped my internet history for you.” 

 

“Doing anything fun tonight?” Ben asked him.

 

“Nothing in particular.” He confessed. “Dinner. Reading. Maybe find something good to watch on tv before bed.”

 

“Rami was telling me about a movie earlier today, said I might like it. _Field of Dreams._ Have you heard of it?”

 

Joe paused, his cheeks flushing slightly. He wondered why Rami would mention such a film. If he did it because he knew it was Joe’s favorite film in the world and took notice of the time Ben and Joe are spent together or if it was just a fluke. Joe didn’t know if Rami could sense the tension between the two or if the innocent man was just trying to make conversation and let it slip.

 

“Yeah. I own it actually. Blu-Ray and DVD. VCR too I think.” 

 

“Wanna watch it with me? Have a bit of a date?”

 

A date. After pushing him against the wall and sucking him off in the office of his church, they were going to go back to his place, watch Joe’s all-time favorite movie, and probably cuddle while doing so. As a date. 

 

Joe wasn’t sure he could blush deeper than he was. “I’d be honored.” 


	4. And Everything In Between

At the end of the day, Joe was nothing more than a mortal man trying to survive in the modern day world. He knew things weren’t perfect. He knew the world would be filled with temptation and anger and that on some days it would be harder than most. He always tried to remember that you didn’t have to be so strong and that there was nothing wrong with failing. 

 

The only way you could fail the Lord as if you turned your back on him completely and Joe would never, even do that. He just wished that sometimes, the Lord above could do him a solid and just...turn a blind eye for five minutes. He and Ben had been together for three months and it was absolute bliss. Every day he found himself happier and happier, always finding new things about this man that changed the way he looked at life.

 

There was so much bad in the world and yet so much good. It evened itself out in the best of ways and Ben was proof of this. Every tone Joe felt sad or thought that he wasn’t doing enough good in the world, Ben was there to change his mind. To remind him of all the wonderful things he was capable of. After all Ben was proof of his work. A former addict that kicked the habit and turned to a life of religion and goodness.

 

Ben wasn’t the strongest follower. He ate shrimp and mixed patterns. Sometimes he would say cruel things about people when they weren’t around to defend themselves. Joe wasn’t there to fix him, because he didn’t have to be fixed. Humans were made to be misshapen, they were created with faults and problems and that was okay. Nobody was made to be perfect, not even God himself. 

 

And that was okay. Joe told himself that again and again as he tried to remain good and follow the laws the Lord has placed down for him. Each day it was getting harder and harder. He could see the way some of the other members were looking at Ben and the ugly head of jealous turned. There had been a bit of a dance one night, a planned event Rami was especially excited for. There were music and food and lots of dancing. Rami took over the dance floor with Lucy while Ben was passed around and around by nearly every woman in the congregation. 

 

He didn’t mind as it was just a bit of fun but Joe could see the way they were looking at him, see the things they wanted to do behind closed doors. Joe continued to go around and smile, praising the word of God. He didn’t dare join Ben on the dance floor and instead of waiting until the event was over and he could have the blond to himself. They spent the night allowing their tongues to tangle as Joe slipped two eager fingers into his boyfriend, getting him off as he whispered the dirtiest things into his ear.

 

Joe knew they were pushing the limit, nearly crossing the line every single time but the foreplay and oral sex would never fully count in his book. Complete penetration was what counted and until the day Joe decided to toss out the good book and take what was his, Thai was good enough.

 

They had tried different things, hoping to satisfy the thirst and hunger. Jerking one another off had become a staple at this point as well as a few other activities such as blowjobs. Ben had tortured him one night while Joe was at a service meeting, and the blond was home alone in his room. They hadn’t gotten into sexting other than a few cheeky comments here and there but this was different. 

 

Ben sent Joe a picture of his hardening member asking if he had permission from the good Lord to take care of it. Joe didn’t get a chance to read and instead had to read as Ben proceeded to tell him that he would have to make a trip to confession after choosing to dwell in such a dirty sin. Knowing that the man was home in bed, fucking his own fist as he thought of him was enough for Joe to mutter six or seven prayers to himself in between breaks.

 

They had tried a few other things, such as the fingering Joe had done on Ben and the act that Ben had performed on him. It happened one long night where the heater was terrible, no breeze coming through. The air was sticky and Ben was spending the night at Joe’s home. The man had one small bed that they took over without care, rutting against one another like desperate teenagers. 

 

They ended up pulling apart, the temptation to go further far too much for either to handle. In moments like these Joe would usually go to the corner and pray. Speak the words that he knew by heart or give Ben a bible passage to study so they could get their mind onto something else.

 

He planned on doing that today but the moment Joe sat up, Ben was on him, his hand tightening at his lip as his mouth sucked a mark against Joe’s neck. Joe tried to push him away, but it was pointless. He was putty the Brits hand and Joe did everything in his power to not propose marriage right then and there.

 

“Let me take care of you,” Ben muttered against his skin. “Just as you have taken care of me.” 

 

Joe let out a whimper, turning his head to capture those pink, pouty lips. They hadn’t spoken about it, about who would do what when they finally decided to go all the way. To Joe it was obvious but he also knew that Ben swung both ways, just as Joe himself did. Some nights they would be together, with Ben on top of him, thrusting against him. Those hip movements drove Joe crazy and in the darkness of his mind, he would think about what it would be like to have Ben inside of him.

 

He wasn’t proud of it but he wasn’t ashamed either. In the end, it was still something they couldn’t do, not without completely the ultimate sin.

 

Ben offered him something that Joe was sure would backfire. The redhead knew how good Ben’s tongue could be as he felt it in his mouth and on his cock weekly but there was more apparent. Things he had done to his old female partners that apparently left them wailing and weak. 

 

Jealousy aside Joe pointedly reminded his love that the anatomy was far different, but he took a leap of faith and allowed the blond to strip him and push him into the bed, belly side down. Joe tried not to blush and look like the silly virgin he was but it was hard. Ben was so beautiful, with it without clothes, while Joe looked pale and pink like a fresh babe. 

 

Ben’s hands moved on him slowly, just touching. His hands were large and comfortable, and his nails scratched along the fair skin and pinched here and there. Joe closed his eyes, relaxing for a moment only to snap them open when Ben grabbed hold of his hips and pulled them up until he was on all fours.

 

He felt like a wild animal, bare and ready for mating, and for a small moment he thought about changing his mind. Especially when he felt Ben’s hands on his ass, those lovely fingers squeezing into his gently, massaging them as he spread them apart.

 

And then without any real warning, Ben leaned in, taking a slow lick of the revealed hole.

 

“Oh my . . . Jesus Christmas!” He muttered aloud, taken off guard. 

 

“Just relax, Joseph,” Ben whispered to him, running a hand up and down his back slowly I nan attempt to soothe him.

 

Joe whined, going to rest on his forearms as Ben got to work. There was lapping and sucking, nibbling here and there. He didn’t put a finger inside him but he kept his hands busy squeezing his as kneaded his ass cheeks like he was a baker working on the morning bread. 

 

It was . . . good. Okay, that was an understatement. Having Ben’s mouth on him like this wasn’t something Joe had ever thought about, had ever fantasied about. It wasn’t even a possibility in the back of his mind and now it was happening. 

 

The sound effects were disgusting and yet Joe’s cock hasn’t been harder. The sloppy wetness drove Joe absolutely wild. He was whispering to himself, chanting a gentle prayer as he fought the urge to tug on his own member. He was stronger than this. Stronger than the temptation. He could hold off without a care . . . except he couldn’t. 

 

Joe was just a mortal man with moral needs and he wasn’t against begging. 

 

“Please. Please, please, please.” 

 

He was on his knees, bare as the day he was born, begging this angel of a man to finish him off.And he wasn’t ashamed of it. He wasn’t embarrassed. He was just very needy and very good. And Ben was good as well, easily doing what he asked of him. In the midst of fucking his weakening hole with that glorious tongue of his, Ben wrapped his fist around Joe’s aching member, practically milking him to the point where he near burst. 

 

And he did burst. Before he could even fully process it, all of Ben’s hard work was put to good use and Joe was left stammering, his face pressed into the sheets, now stained with his seed, as he came down from his high. 

 

Joe didn’t know what to do, having never crashed so hard before. He felt as though his soul had left his body, just floating peacefully in the in-between. As he moved slowly to roll over, he spoke the first words that came to mind.

 

“Praise the Lord. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endowed forever.” 

 

“ _Pslam . . ._ what is it? 106 or 107?” Ben muttered as he sat up to the knee on the bed.

 

Joe let out a loud whimper, his flaccid member twitching at the very thought of Ben memorizing any prayers as he had. “I swear . . . you want to ruin me.” Joe started breathlessly. 

 

“In some ways,” Ben confessed, dipping down to press a whisper of a kiss to Joe’s lips. 

 

A large hand wrapped around his head and Ben allowed himself to be pulled in by Joe, who was very aware of the fact that Ben was still sporting a stiffy. His own eyes narrowed as he sprung forward, pushing Ben back onto the bed as he knelt down before him.

 

If Ben Hardy was going to be his downfall, his undoing, then at least Joe wouldn’t go down with regrets. 

 

They carried on like that for a while, nearly another month of fooling around and doing everything that two men could do without going to home base. It was starting to be okay. Joe was honestly starting to feel like this could be a thing for them. They would do what they could and swear their devotion to God above without feeling guilty. It was a good life they were living. A blessed life. 

 

And then Rami had to ruin it. 

 

He didn’t mean to, Joe knew this. His best friend was an innocent guy. A good guy! He just did things that made Joe wanna throw him into a fire. Like buying a snake off of Craigslist. Or forgetting to lock the church and allowing the whole place to be filled with snow. Or getting his girlfriend pregnant. 

 

It was a casual day, really. They were going over the events. Ben was with him. They were sitting close, but not that close. Thy didn’t have to be on top of one another at this point. Just being beside one another was good enough for them. They were going over the upcoming events that were planned when Rami burst in to tell them the news. 

 

Rami was . . . frazzled, but ecstatic. They thought Lucy had the stomach flu and went to the doctor in hopes of getting antibiotics. Instead, they got a set of congratulations. They were going to be parents! 

 

“You two have been having sex?” Joe demanded. “Rami, you took an oath!” 

 

“Oh hey wow, I’m not a pastor like you.” Rami defended. “I love God! He and I are cool, but Lucy is my girlfriend. She’s my best friend. After you of course! I can’t deny my feelings, Joe. Besides, we were careful!” 

 

“Apparently not careful enough,” Ben muttered, leaning back in his chair. 

 

“The baby isn’t going to go to hell, is it?” Rami asked Joe carefully. “Look, I’ll do whatever you want! We can do like a prayer circle or whatever. I just want to make sure Lucy and the baby are okay.” 

 

Joe clenched his teeth, nearly snapping his pencil in half as his best friend rambled on. Both Ben and Rami thought of different things they could do. Obviously, the baby would be baptized, but surely they could do more!

 

When Rami left to meet up with the girl, Joe was practically seething, though he hid it well. That bastard of a man went against his better judgment and while bringing life into this world would always be a gracious thing, that didn’t change the fact that he created sin. God, jealousy was an ugly look on the man. 

 

“I’m sure they’ll figure it out.” Ben had mentioned to him later on while they were alone. Joe was trying to busy himself and he chose to organize his office rather than allow his own anger and jealous to fester over anymore. “And hey, if you think of it, haven’t they been together long enough to have a spoken union?” 

 

“A what?” 

 

“My aunt was speaking about it. Apparently, it was in some old book she read. Two people could claim to be devoted to one another under the eyes of God and it would be seen as something of a marriage.” 

 

“God, I can’t believe this.” Joe groaned, sitting back in his seat. “I honestly can’t figure out which is more embarrassing for the church. This or the snake.” 

 

“Hey, that snake nearly ended you. A child is something to celebrate.” Ben argued. He moved around the desk, dipping down so he could press a gentle kiss to Joe’s head. “Don’t worry about it, yeah? It will work itself out.” 

 

Ben was right because a few days later Rami and Lucy came to him in hopes he would agree to officiant their marriage. Apparently, Rami decided to do the noble thing and propose. Lucy was still pregnant but at least if they got married before the child came, then their tiny mishap would be recovered. 

 

Joe agreed because they were his friends and they were trying to do what was right by the Lord. He gave them a week to get it together, all the while Joe looked into what Ben had been speaking of. The spoken union hadn’t been used in years and while the closest thing to it was a civil union, Joe still found himself interested. 

 

If you were truly to devote yourself to one person in front of God himself, then why would God not consider that enough? It wasn’t a marriage of law, but rather of promise. A promise in front of God to always be true and sincere and loyal. To most, it would probably seem like a bout of bullshit, but to Joe, it was a solution. 

 

He brought it up to Ben a few days before Rami and Lucy’s wedding was to take place. He didn’t want him to agree for the sake of agreeing or just so they could finally cross the finish line and have full on sex. He wanted him to agree to this because they were in this together and that even if they weren’t so hyped up on their sexual frustration, they’d want to make things more serious. 

 

Ben said he would think about it, knowing that this was a big step for them. After all, they were boyfriends but promising yourself to one person in front of God, even if you weren’t doing it legally was still a big deal. Joe let him take his time, choosing to instead put his focus on other things, like the church and the upcoming wedding. 

 

It was a sweet event and while it may not have been exactly idea, both Rami and Lucy looked absolutely happy. The clothing was casual, with Lucy wearing what seemed more like a summer dress and Rami in khakis. Joe didn’t say anything about the dress being white (the color of _purity_ ) and instead spoke the good words from the good book as they celebrated in the joyous union. 

 

There were music and dancing, food and fun. Rami and Lucy did that romantic thing where they shoved cake in one another face and Joe caught Ben’s eye across the floor when they had their first dance.

 

They had only been together for a few months, but Joe was still hopeful enough to believe in true love and thought, perhaps one day when they finally got this shit together, they’d be able to do the very same in this very church. Hold one another on the dance floor as husbands under the light of the Lord. 

 

When the party was over and the lovely couple drove off in Rami’s car, off to his apartment where they would have their official wedding night bash, Joe stayed behind at the church to clean up. Weddings always made him happy and even a little bit sappy. And he was so used to being alone that he didn’t normally know what to do with himself afterward. 

 

Ben stayed with him, helping him set everything where it was supposed to go. They were nearly finished when Ben approached him, looking absolutely lovely and a little bit loopy as well, with a grin so wide it caught Joe off guard. 

 

“My aunt bought this for me when I was a lad.” He began, his hand half raised to cradle an item. “Never really wore it, but the meaning behind it meant a lot to me. This union you spoke of, I know it means more than what it sounds like. And I know your reasoning behind it is true. So . . . if you would accept it, this is my offering.” 

 

Ben reached forward, placing something in Joe’s hand. It was a wrist band, leather and unworn with a bent cross sown into it. It was meant more for fashion than proper prayer, but the gesture spoke louder than anything. This wasn’t a marriage, not by law so rings didn’t need to be changed but it just seemed proper to exchange something.

 

Joe paused, thinking it over for a moment before pulling the chain from around his neck. 

 

The cross had been given to him by the former priest of the church, who passed very long ago. It had been blessed for him, giving him the strength to break his alcoholism. He rarely took it off and polished it weakly, always wanting it to be as shiny and bright as the future he dreamed of. 

 

“With this token, I offer myself to you in front of God. As a promise to be there for you whenever you shall need me. As a friend, confidant, and lover. For as long as you shall have me.”

 

Ben bent his head, allowing Joe to loop the chain around his neck. He touched the cross gently between his fingers, reaching out to take the wristband back so he could hold it up. 

 

“And with this token, I offer the very same. I follow your guidance and be there for you every step of the way for as long as you’ll have me.” 

 

Joe offered his wrist, allowing Ben to place the wristband on with a snap. He took his hand after that, lacing their fingers together as Joe’s hand to his lips, kissing his knuckles softly. “I love you.” He confessed quietly. 

 

Joe had feared that he would be the one to say it first. To blurt it out at the worst possible moment; another misfire on his behalf. And yet here was Ben, looking so lovely and confident that he simply took his breath away. 

 

“I love you,” Joe answered, giving his hand a bit of a tug. “Come on. Let’s go home.” He decided. 

 

Ben followed easily, hitting the light switch as they walked out, leaving the darkness of the church to walk back to Joe’s home in the gentle moonlight. 

 

~-.-~

 

After the two men exchanged their valuable possessions as a form of their spoken union, Joe did not want to think that he was going to _get_ anything. No. He was not a man of _great_ temptation but as the two men walked hand in hand inside Joe’s small, simple apartment, Joe felt a fire begin to burn in his belly.  

 

Suddenly, as Ben separated from Joe’s grip to take a spot at the kitchen table, Joe swallowed hard, not knowing what to do next. Were they supposed to get it over with immediately after their union? Could they wait? Oh God, why don’t you have answers at this moment for me?

 

Joe’s eyes darted around the kitchen, trying to find something to break the silence that only Joe seemed to have issues with. “W-would you like tea? I will make us tea.”

 

Ben cocked an eyebrow, “I thought you did not like tea.”

Joe tried not to blush, “You rubbed off on me a bit, I guess…”

 

Ben grinned, “I’d like to think I did a good job on that...in more ways than one.” Oh, Lord. Ben was being playful and easily making his desires known. He wanted it, tonight, by the ginger. The question was not one for Ben. He was not new to this. No. The question was - was Joe ready?

 

Joe practically jumped out of his skin when the teapot rang. He poured the two men a small cup and they breathed in the silence and a sip of tea before Ben spoke. “Joe...Please, I need you to know that...just because we made a spoken union an hour ago...that doesn’t mean we have to do anything tonight that you are not ready for.”

 

Joe wanted to melt. He knew how much Ben wanted this but yet he was still willing to wait until the ginger was ready. But, in reality, Joe was ready. He had been ready. But it still put him in a slight panic, reverting back to his previous times of misfiring. He wanted to make Ben feel so good. He wanted him to feel the same pleasure in bed as he did when he sang the great name of the Lord at service. 

 

Joe lifted a hand, “I am ready, Ben. I am just...stalling and I don’t know why…” He cannot believe he admitted this but, with Ben, he felt often that he could not control what came out of his mouth. 

 

“I will stall with you as long as you’d like.” Ben gave him a warm smile that Joe mimicked. Yes, indeed Lord, I am in love with this man. And I am determined to show my love in every way I can. _Every way_.

 

~-.-~

 

“Joe . . . love, are you going to stay in the loo all night long?” Ben bellowed from the bedroom. Sweet kisses in the kitchen led to French kisses in the living room and finally, shirts and belts stripped from their bodies in the bedroom. 

 

However, just as Ben was ready to pull Joe’s jeans so that the ginger would be left in only his knickers, Joe asked if he could use the toilet. Ben couldn’t say no, so Joe ran like the flash into the adjoined bathroom.

 

Standing eye to eye with the mirror, hair disheveled from Ben’s hands combing through it and his lips red from Ben’s kisses, he shook his head, as if to clear his mind before narrowing his eyes at his reflection, 

 

“All right, Joseph. You can DO it. You GOT this. You have gotten on your knees and soaked in the pleasure of the Lord for years. You can get on your knees and even your hands to join in the pleasure of the beautiful, gentle soul of Ben. Come on, please Lord. Guide me. Make my husband of the spoken word the lover of my loins as well as my heart. _Please. I beg of you…_.” 

 

Joe did not whisper these words but he did not shout them either. It was only after he turned to leave did he realize the door was ajar. _Oh, Christ._

 

“H-how much of that did you hear, Benjamin?” Joe swallowed hard, not wanting to make eye contact with his younger boyfriend.

 

“Every. Word.” Ben gave the ginger a coy smile and the taller male wanted to crawl into a hole and perish.

 

Ben, who was clothed in simply boxer briefs, stood up from his seated position on the bed and came to cup Joe’s cheek, “You are making this far more of a big deal than it is, Joseph.”

 

Joe leaned in until their foreheads were touching, “You’ve been waiting for this for so long . . . being so patient with me . . . and I just want to make you feel as good as you make me feel.” As Joe made this confession, Ben intertwined their fingers.

 

“You have.” Ben lifted Joe’s hand up to his lips and kissed each knuckle, “Now, you are one hundred percent sure you want to bed me tonight?”

 

Joe was silent but gave the blond a nod. Just as Ben was ready to ask him if he was 101% ready, Joe closed the distance between them and provided Ben with one of the most passionate kisses he could ever muster - it was slow, hot, full of lips and tongue and slight nips from their teeth.

 

Slowly, the two walked to the bed, their lips never separating until they bounced on the bed, Ben falling first on his back with Joe on top of him. Ben and Joe tangled tongues for a good while before Joe’s jeaned thigh made contact with something that had clearly risen in Ben’s briefs.

 

“I’m up . . . are you?” Ben chuckled, not even waiting before he sat up and discarded his briefs to reveal a semi-hard member. 

 

Joe blushed because, in all honesty, he was far harder than his younger counterpart. He kept contact with the blond’s green irises as he pulled himself from the last bit of clothing that separates this from all being real. 

 

Joseph, the Pastor. Joe, the weirdo. Joe, the awkward and far in the word of God or baseball. Joe, who was _finally_ going to bed by an angel. For years, he wondered what it would be like to fly amongst the angels when he finally met the Lord and his son. 

 

Now, here he was, still on Earth, amongst an Angel. Here, he could feel the true beauty of God’s creation in more ways than he ever imagined. 

 

Joe noticed Ben’s breath hitch when Joe pulled his boxers off and his rock hard cock sprang free. Yeah, he was up and ready. He was born ready.

 

“Lube up your fingers first, love. I know I took two the other time but I should be able to take about three or four before I’ll take your cock.” Joe groaned at Ben’s simple use of the word _cock._ Sometimes he wanted to shoot his load at some of the words that sprung from Ben’s mouth. 

 

Instead, he gave the blond a quick nod and grabbed hold of the small container he asked Lucy to buy him from the convenience store. _Lubricant and whatever condoms you think would make Ben feel good_ , he explained to her in his office after a sermon a few days ago.

 

Joe requested for Ben to stay on his back as he fingered him. He wanted to see the look of pleasure. Every movement - any curve of his finger that made the blond go wild. For Joe, watching Ben like this was like taking notes for the _real_ thing. So far, as Ben was practically withering at his playful four fingers inside, Joe was still in the clear for a misfire. 

 

“Joe . . . please.” Now Ben was begging and that made Joe’s cock twitch more than anything. Okay. This was it. Joe slowly retreated his fingers and got hold of the condom box and the lubricant again. 

 

Just as he worked to open one of the packets, he noticed the Jesus candles were not lit for this romantic moment but facing him. No, that cannot be. Joe quickly stood, lit both candles but turned Jesus’ face the other way. Joe also took note of the cross of the bed. At that moment, he was worried that any rocking would make the cross fall, so he brought the cross to the nightstand and crawled back to Ben’s spread legs. Joe stained, knowing where the hole was but uncertain how to perfectly angle himself. Ben chuckled and hooked his angels behind Joe’s back with ease. _Oh._ That could work.

 

“Benny….”

 

Ben, who was slightly breathless yet oh so suave as he lay, a pillow behind his head and under his bum, one arm to the back of his head while the other was free floating, as if ready to held with any leg in position or used to pull the ginger into a kiss, answered, “Yes, Joe?”

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you too.” As Ben spoke those words, Joe dipped down to give Ben one last sweet kiss because he got down and dirty. He lathered himself generously, making sure the condom was all the way up and secure before he tentatively pushed his tip to the entrance of Ben’s hole. Ben hummed and Joe took this as a good sign. Joe pushed in further and gasped. This was nothing like jerking himself off or even have Ben do it. This was warm and tight and so intimate that Joe’s heart hurt. 

 

Joe was still cautious because, even though Ben had been with men before, he didn’t always take this position, so Joe made sure to take his time. It was not easy for Joe since he had a tendency to get too excited because this was his first time and he had so much going on that he was ready to cum whenever he so pleased. However, his pleasure was Ben’s and he refused to make himself cum into Ben did.

 

Joe rocked back and forth for a long while. When Ben let out his first moan with his name attached, he knew he had the right rhythm. He kept that going for what felt like forever. Joe wanted more out of Ben, so he moved Ben’s legs around a bit and tried to remember where Ben’s pleasure spot was if he curved his cock a certain way. Taking his time doing so, Joe finally found the spot and Ben saw stars. 

 

Joe did not stop hitting this spot and soon, Joe was smacking into the spot over and over again and even though Ben was whining for more, he still did not cum. Joe could feel ready to burst so, so between thrusts and cries from the blond, Joe stopped mid-thrust and jerked Ben off feverishly. 

 

“Cum for me, first, Benny.” Joe requested, and Ben always did as his Pastor requested, his last cry as he let out his load a grand falsetto. His shriek pulled Joe’s ejaculation with it and soon, Joe came hard in his condom. 

 

“That was heavenly.” Ben panted, unable to move as due to the fact that he still was coming down from his high. He watched Joe as he tied the condom into the wastebasket before coming to hover over the blond, giving him a soft kiss.

 

_“You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence is the fullness of joy; In Your right hand, there are pleasures forever._

 

~-.-~

 

 

It was a bright and sunny day when the church let out. The sermon was light and simple. No harsh lessons to be taught or heavy prayers to be spoken. The afternoon had just begun and for the first time in a long time, Joe wouldn’t be hiding himself away in his office, thinking of what to do the following week. 

 

He became more relaxed when it came to his work, believing now that he had finally gotten everything under control. When Rami had returned from the makeshift honeymoon he and Lucy went on, he was ready to take on the challenge of handling his duties more seriously. 

 

It seemed Lucy scared him straight with the whole pregnancy thing and if he could handle being the second-in-command at the church, then he could maybe even handle fatherhood. Joe laughed in good spirits, promising that he’d pray for the man. 

 

At the end of the day, despite the difficulties of it, Joe wanted nothing more than for his friends to be happy. When their child comes into this world, it will be filled with the most love and acceptance that could be given to one mere child.

 

Of course, Joe knew better than anyone that not everyone would offer such things. And that sometimes those who had wondered this earth the longest hadn’t gained the ability to see things through wiser eyes. 

 

Joe had been mingling with some of the churchgoers after the sermon, just making idle chat until one of the older women in the congregation approached him, hoping to have a word. Joe knew the woman well enough, having been warned about her by the former Pastor when Joe was first starting out. She was a demanding old bird who liked to gossip and followed the old testament a little too thoroughly. 

 

Joe handled her complaints as kindly as a man like him could. He listened carefully, keeping his smile intact even as she spoke the most unfavorable things. 

 

“You know, back when I was young, we didn’t allow the mixing of colors.” She mentioned, her eyes narrowing behind her wire-rimmed glasses as she stared down the aisle to where Rami and Lucy were standing. 

 

It was an adorable scene, with Rami’s face pressed against his wife’s rounding belly as he spoke to their impending child. How anyone could find faults there was baffling, but Joe always knew that this woman could be able to find faults in God himself.

 

“A wise minister once spoke about hoping to see a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character,” Joe mentioned easily, watching as the older woman rolled her eyes behind her glasses. “We are all made in His image, I remind you. Perhaps the Lord is simply colorblind.” 

 

The woman scoffed, looking around the room once again. “I also must know. I have heard rumors. Whispers! About the young man, you have been mentoring.” She began carefully, using a tone that was morning than a whisper, but just slightly lower than the average of speaking. “People have been chatting about and he had mentioned that he favors men before women.” 

 

Joe breathed slowly, turning his head towards where Ben was standing. He was speaking with a few members of the congregation, laughing easily at some joke that was probably boring, but he was too polite to say so. 

 

Ben made it very obvious that even if they were to not come out, he didn’t want to hide away in the shadows and pretend like he was something he’s not. He may work under a Pastor, but Ben would never fully live under the eyes of God the way Joe did. He still loved shrimp. He mixed his patterns. He had a tattoo that Joe adored. He was living in sin, but that was okay.

 

Nobody was perfect and they didn’t have to be. 

 

“I do believe it was _John 15:12: My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you_.” Joe cast off easily, turning his head to look back to the woman. “We were put on this earth not to judge, but to love. Aside from prayer, words of love are the most powerful things that could leave a person's tongue.” 

 

“I worry that you have been blinded, Pastor Joseph. That you lean too far towards doing what you see as kind rather than what is good.” 

 

“At the end of the day, I do believe that I am doing what is good and right by the Lord, but if I must choose, I would rather do what is kind than what is good.” Joe lifted a hand, placing it on the woman’s shoulder gently. “But rest assured. My method to you may be madness, but they are strong. And God has given me the strength to carry on and devote myself to two men. Good day, ma’am. See you next Thursday.” 

 

Joe turned and walked away, snickering to himself at the little joke that Rami had taught him. It wasn’t very clever, but he liked it nonetheless, knowing it went right over the woman’s head. Walking down the aisle, he approached Ben just as the blond finished his conversation. Those sea-green eyes shimmered in the warm sunlight that broke through the church windows. 

 

“What now, Pastor?” He asked, already eager to carry on the day with him.

 

Joe found that while he wasn’t the perfect follower, he was always ready to take on whatever challenge Joe threw at him. Today, however, Joe wanted nothing of the sort. 

 

Reaching out, he took Ben’s hand in his own, lacing their fingers. “How about a date?” He offered easily enough. 

 

They weren’t out, not really, but Joe found that he just didn’t care anymore. He didn’t have to announce himself to the people around him. He was in love with this man and with the acceptance of the Lord above, he would live in peace with that. 

 

Ben, completely unfazed, just squeezed his hand tightly and smiled wide and bright. “I would be honored.” He answered. 

 

With that, Joe pulled him through the church, walking out hand in hand into the outside world. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See You Next Thursday 
> 
> C U N T
> 
> It's okay, I laughed at it too, just like Joe did. 
> 
> Thanks for reading.

**Author's Note:**

> So, we hoped you enjoyed that! This is our newest story, the religious tale that literally no one asked for! Please, please comment down below to tell us what you thought or find me on Tumblr (writeyourownlifestory) to ask us any questions you may have!


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